"Look at that. Pretty pathetic huh?"
"Oh look! That's me as a baby!"
"Living proof that dinosaurs once roamed the earth."
"You threw off my groove!"
"It is no concern of mine whether or not your family has... what was it again?"
"Think of it as you're being let go, you're part of an out placement, we're not picking up your option, take you're pick. I've got more."
"Who does that ungrateful little worm think he is? How could he do this to me? Why, I practically raised him!"
"Pull the lever!"
"Why do we even have that lever?"
"I'll turn him into a flea. A harmless little flea. And then I'll put that flea in a box, i'll put that box inside of another box, and then I'll mail that box to myself. When it arrives I'll smash it with a hammer!"
"Well, he ain't getting any deader."
"What's with the chimp and the bug? Can we get back to me?"
"I am so glad I was unconscious for all of this."
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Is there anything on this menu that is not swimming in gravy?"
"Tell me ______'s dead. I need to hear these words."
"Squeaky ah squeak sqeaker squeaken."
"Why me? Why me?!"
"You have beautiful wives. They're both very pretty."
"Why I'm his third cousin's brother's wife's step-niece's great aunt, twice removed."
"Was she scary beyond all reason?"
"Bless you for coming out in public."
"Yay I'm a llama again! Wait...."
"The thing about shaking hands is... you need hands."
"Come on, nobody's that heartless."